Hey everyone,
My cat has this funny habit of gently biting me from time to time. It doesn’t hurt, but I’m curious about why she does it. Is it a sign of affection, playfulness, or something else entirely? Would love to hear your thoughts!
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I don’t think that’s a real bite. It’s more like a puppy nipping to get your attention, they can’t exactly say, ‘Hey, give me some love!’ after all.
I wouldn’t encourage the behavior, but I wouldn’t stress about it too much either. Changing a cat’s behavior can be challenging, but you can adjust your own response. If he’s rubbing against you, try giving him a gentle stroke or a cheek rub. He might just want a little of your attention.
My female cat has me well-trained; she doesn’t nip but instead head-butts my hands, arms, or legs when I’m standing. When she does, I simply reach down and give her a quick rub. It doesn’t need to be a long petting session, just a small gesture to acknowledge her presence in my life.
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Cats usually give other cues that are worth learning about.
Tail wagging is a common indicator. If the tail is swishing, the cat is likely unhappy. When a cat is focused on something, the tail might swing rhythmically from side to side, which I refer to as ‘processing mode.’ If the tail is shaking quickly without much movement, it might mean the cat is excited, like when you give a treat. If the tail is making wider, sudden movements or if it’s moving and you’re unsure why, it’s best to assume the cat is displeased and stop whatever you’re doing.
Another sign is when a cat looks at you intently. If a cat’s eyes meet yours and they narrow or partially close, it’s a signal of relaxation and reassurance—‘I’m calm and won’t attack.’ You should do the same to them! If the cat’s eyes are wide open, it could indicate they’re about to pounce, either playfully or aggressively.
If you miss these clear signs, most cats will resort to ‘warning bites’ or ‘tickle scratches,’ which they use with rowdy kittens who don’t back off when asked politely. They’re essentially saying, ‘Seriously, stop.’
Growling and hissing typically occur when a cat is scared and trying to ward off whatever is frightening them. This could be due to harassment, pain, or general fear. A cat should never growl or hiss at you; if it does, either you’re doing something very wrong, or the cat might need to see a vet.
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I had a similar experience with my cat when I first got him 8 years ago, he would purr and then bite. I was puzzled until I read several books on cat behavior, which helped me understand it better 
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Sometimes, a gentle bite accompanied by purring is more of a ‘love bite,’ especially if the cat was licking you beforehand. I was initially surprised when my cat did this and thought she didn’t want to be petted. Usually, this type of bite is very gentle and light, whereas a ‘bro pls stop’ bite is considerably firmer.
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About your suggestion of using eye contact to communicate with cats, what does it mean if our eyes are wide open? Is it similar to saying ‘don’t mess with me, I’m serious’?
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I think wide-open eyes convey more of a ‘I wish to hurt you’ message, similar to yelling at them. It will likely just make the cat scared of you. It’s not a good method for disciplining them, if that’s what you had in mind.
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Yep, using that approach is definitely a bad idea. It communicates a lack of trust, essentially ‘I don’t trust you and will hurt you if necessary.’ Cats don’t usually want to hurt others but might feel it’s required. If you convey distrust and a threat of harm, your cat won’t like or trust you. Staring can also signal hunting, but as humans, we don’t naturally convey this (we lack widening pupils, make too much noise, and can’t do the crouch-and-wiggle like cats, plus, we don’t chirp at birds). You definitely don’t want your cat to think you’re actually hunting them! Just avoid staring when you make eye contact.
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Generally speaking, your cat is attempting to tell you something when they gently bite you—“I love you,” “Stop doing that,” or “Pay me some attention,” for example. You may pay closer attention to your cat’s message and respond to them more properly after you comprehend the underlying cause of their behavior.