To give some context, I’m 27 and have been a dog person my whole life. I’ve never really liked cats, not that I hate them, but I just haven’t been a fan. I just moved into my girlfriend’s home about two months ago after a long-distance relationship. For the first two weeks, her cat never really came into the same room as me and mostly hid. Whenever I approached my girlfriend, the cat would run off. Over time, he’s slowly adjusted to me being here. Now, he rubs against my feet or legs when I’m watching TV or sitting at my computer. He lets me pet him sometimes, but other times he runs away when I reach for him. Recently, he’s even slept next to me on the couch while I watch TV, which is a big step since he had to build up the courage to jump up there. He’s definitely more comfortable with my girlfriend, but she’s had him for nearly five years compared to my two months. She told me it took her five years before she could pick him up, and now he wants cuddles from her. The cat seems quite timid and shy, not just with me but sometimes with her too. I’m also female, so I’m not sure if that plays a part. I’ve noticed that when my girlfriend and I cuddle or hug, he runs over to us and can be vocal—it feels like jealousy. I’ve fed him many times and given him treats to try and bond with him. Is that enough for a cat to like you? This is all new territory for me, having a cat as a pet. So, my question is: Does my partner’s cat hate me, love me, or just tolerate me?
It sounds like the cat is slowly warming up to you. Cats can take a while to adjust to new people, especially if they’re shy. The fact that he’s rubbing against you and has slept next to you is a good sign.
@Ollie
That makes me feel better. I was worried I was doing something wrong.
Feeding him and giving him treats is a great way to build trust. It might take time, but he could start to see you as a friend.
Keagan said:
Feeding him and giving him treats is a great way to build trust. It might take time, but he could start to see you as a friend.
I hope so! I really want to bond with him.
It sounds like he’s just cautious. Cats often take longer to adjust than dogs. If he’s showing any affection, that’s a good sign he’s starting to feel comfortable.
Teo said:
It sounds like he’s just cautious. Cats often take longer to adjust than dogs. If he’s showing any affection, that’s a good sign he’s starting to feel comfortable.
Yeah, I’ve noticed he’s getting a bit braver each day.
Jealousy can definitely be a thing with cats. They can get attached to their humans and want attention too. Just keep being patient and giving him space when he needs it.
Drue said:
Jealousy can definitely be a thing with cats. They can get attached to their humans and want attention too. Just keep being patient and giving him space when he needs it.
I’ll keep that in mind. I don’t want to pressure him.
Cats have their own personalities. Just because he’s more tolerant of your girlfriend doesn’t mean he dislikes you. Give him time and keep interacting with him positively.
Sidney said:
Cats have their own personalities. Just because he’s more tolerant of your girlfriend doesn’t mean he dislikes you. Give him time and keep interacting with him positively.
Thanks for the reassurance. I’ll keep trying to bond with him.