Everyone talks about how amazing it is to own a dog or how hard it will be to lose them when the time comes. But no one really talks about how painful it is to watch your once-lively companion slowly grow old. My dog is 15 years old now, and I still love him to bits. But it’s been so hard to see the changes. He’s gotten a lot slower, he sleeps almost all the time, he’s lost his hearing, and he can’t groom himself anymore. He used to bark like crazy at the smallest things, and honestly, it used to annoy me. But now that he’s lost his hearing, I haven’t heard him bark in probably two years. I never thought I’d miss something like that. Yesterday, I realized I’ve been trying to spend as much time with him as I can because deep down, I know we’re in his final years. He’s still the same dog I’ve loved for all these years, but at the same time, he feels so different. It’s just hard to accept. The love hasn’t changed, but seeing him like this is a constant reminder that time is passing. I just wanted to put this out there because I feel like it’s something that isn’t talked about enough. For anyone else going through this, you’re not alone. Hug your dog a little tighter today.
I saw a line in a video that I really felt. It is such a gift and such a curse to watch a dog grow old.
It is hard, but it happens to all of us. I watched my 14 and 19 year old dogs age and die within a one year span. In the space of three years, I lost them, and my 93 year old dad and just recently, my 90 year old mom. In relative terms, family members are very similar regardless of species. They grow slower, they develop some dementia or incontinence. They’re forgetful, anxious, and lose some hearing, sight, feeling, or sense of smell. They get arthritis or other age related issues. In the long run, they are in the process of dying each day. It is no different than the opposite of learning to live each day as a newborn. It is hard to accept, and it makes you angry to lose them, sad, regretful, remorseful, and all sorts of emotions. My mom passed two weeks ago, and it has filled me with sadness. When my two dogs died, it really almost broke my heart. The takeaway is that you had them for as long as you could and you loved them enough to miss them forever. Isn’t that maybe the best we can all hope for? It’s a process and those of us who are here are around to help them through it, support them, and enjoy each day we have.
So true.
I know people say you can’t compare, but how was it to lose your pets versus your human loved ones? I lost my cat recently and have been really struggling. It has been a month. I coped better when my grandfather died and he was really close to me. I feel guilty that I am struggling so much with my cat’s death compared to my grandfather’s. My cat died in an accident at 2 years old while my grandfather lived a full life to 94, which I think is playing a part.
There have been more than a few studies showing that people cope better with the death of people than with the death of pets. I don’t know why, but it may be because we instinctively know that other people understand life, death, and what is happening to them as they age, sicken, and die. We don’t know how our pets understand their aging, sickening, and death, and it makes us anxious and sad for them in a way we don’t feel for humans.
We lost our dog in March, and I have to say, we were so happy to spend the time that I did with him. I have not regretted missing the social engagement. I am sorry you are going through this, but you are bringing him comfort and security. It is hard but worth it.
It’s also rough when it’s unexpected. My little boy chihuahua mix passed after three months of fighting complications from his cancer. He had just turned 12. I didn’t know I wouldn’t be bringing him home when we left for the hospital that morning. This was a year and a half ago, and it hurts as much today as it did then. He was really a part of my heart and a piece is gone. For me, that flows into my family, my parents, my grandfather passing too. It is really hard to see us all age and know it has to end.