I have a 14-year-old pit mix with worsening arthritis and fecal incontinence, and she’s struggling to get up and down the steps. She often collapses and needs help standing. It’s been manageable until recently, but now she poops while eating and can’t make it to the door. We have a vet appointment on Friday to explore options, but the guilt of considering euthanasia is weighing on me. I’m unsure whether it’s for her benefit or my convenience. They say dogs hide pain, and although she’s limping and struggling, I don’t see it in her eyes. Any advice?
You need to ask yourself about her quality of life. I once kept a dog too long, using diapers and potty pads, and she was barely mobile. It’s hard, but we have to do what’s best for them. Your dog has lived a long life and has been loved. My heart goes out to you during this tough time.
@Clove
Thank you for understanding. Her quality of life is what I’m struggling with. She can’t walk for long, collapses outside, and now the incontinence is getting worse. If someone else were in my shoes, I’d probably tell them it’s time, but I can’t do that for myself.
@Ainsley
Deep down, you know it’s time. Trust your instincts.
Lin said:
@Ainsley
Deep down, you know it’s time. Trust your instincts.
It’s the guilt and ‘what ifs’ that are making this so hard.
Lin said:
@Ainsley
Deep down, you know it’s time. Trust your instincts.
It’s the guilt and ‘what ifs’ that are making this so hard.
What if what? She’s in pain, can’t walk well, and is incontinent. It’s time to give her peace. Please don’t wait too long.
@Kit
What if the vet prescribes something that helps? I’m seeing this as her worst week so far, but until now, it’s been somewhat manageable. I know I’m probably leaning towards letting her go, but I’m waiting to hear what the vet has to say.
@Ainsley
Manageable for you isn’t necessarily good for her. She won’t know the difference if she goes peacefully now, but if you wait too long, she might suffer more than necessary.
Kit said:
@Ainsley
Manageable for you isn’t necessarily good for her. She won’t know the difference if she goes peacefully now, but if you wait too long, she might suffer more than necessary.
That’s a valid point. Thank you. It helps to hear others’ perspectives and get some clarity.
Wait to hear what the vet says before making any final decisions.
Eli said:
Wait to hear what the vet says before making any final decisions.
That’s the plan. I’m just trying to mentally prepare myself for the outcome.
@Case
I took the assessment, and it came back as ‘questionable,’ which confirms that seeing the vet is the next step. It’s a tough process, but I appreciate the support.
Ainsley said:
@Case
I took the assessment, and it came back as ‘questionable,’ which confirms that seeing the vet is the next step. It’s a tough process, but I appreciate the support.
It really is tough. You’re clearly thinking about her best interests, which shows how much you love her. Just remember that you’ll know what’s right when the time comes.
@Case
Thank you so much. Your support means a lot as I prepare for this vet visit.
When the bad days outnumber the good, it’s time. Ask yourself if you’re keeping her alive for her or for yourself. Euthanasia can be the most compassionate decision when they are suffering. Don’t feel guilty—this is the final act of love we can give them.
@Jai
You’re right. I think I know what’s coming, and I’m trying to come to terms with it. Thank you for your kind words.
Ainsley said:
@Jai
You’re right. I think I know what’s coming, and I’m trying to come to terms with it. Thank you for your kind words.
I hope you can find peace in knowing you’ve done everything for her. Sending you strength during this tough time.
Lap of Love has a helpful quality-of-life assessment tool that might guide you through this: https://www.lapoflove.com/quality-of-life-assessment. It’s a hard decision, but know that no choice made with her comfort in mind is wrong. Wishing you peace during this difficult time.