This is kind of a long vent, but I’d also like to hear about others’ experiences.
For the past 10 years, I’ve been adopting old or chronically ill small parrots (specifically one kind of small parrot). These birds usually live around 25 years, but since I adopt those that are already old, sickly, or fragile, they tend to die on me more often, and it’s starting to affect me mentally.
You can skip this part, but here’s a bit about birds as pets: Contrary to common belief, birds are very demanding pets. They have specific needs and can get sick easily if those needs aren’t met. A sick bird is a significant problem because you need a specialized vet for proper treatment. With a “regular” vet, it’s pretty much luck if your bird recovers since most veterinary courses only include a single class on birds and reptiles for a Bachelor’s degree and none for a Master’s degree unless the vet-to-be specializes in birds. Even if you find a specialized vet and get the right meds, most small birds aren’t tame enough to take them voluntarily. Giving meds to a bird against its will is… difficult. So, most birds that get chronically sick are often left to die. I started adopting these birds. They have their own room in my home, with special furniture like ramps and sitting areas for the disabled ones, special lighting, high-quality food, and a specialist bird vet who is a 2-hour drive away.
In the last 10 years, I’ve lost 4 birds. One of them was very special to me, a soul pet. I usually keep 4 to 6 of them together. At the moment, I have 4, maybe 5, because one is currently a “Schrödinger’s Bird.” She went to the vet this afternoon very, very sick. She had to stay there for in-patient treatment, and the clinic closed at 5 pm. Now it’s 11 pm where I live, and I don’t even know if she’s still alive. I’ll get a call tomorrow morning. Another of my current birds is very old (21) and has multiple health issues. A third one has pretty bad heart problems. Both could die at any moment or live another year or two.
In the past, I found it very rewarding to care for these animals who would otherwise end up in a shelter to die or be euthanized because they’re too hard to handle. I still do. But lately, especially now with one bird in the clinic again and likely not going to make it, their deaths and the constant worry, fear, and sadness when they get really sick have been getting to me. It’s reached a point where I’m thinking about not rescuing these birds anymore. Of course, my current birds will stay with me until they pass, but I’m starting to consider letting them die off naturally without adopting new ones and ending my “career” as a bird rescuer when the last one is gone.
I feel guilty for thinking this way, and I also feel guilty that I long to have young, healthy birds that I can enjoy without constantly worrying about their health and medical care.
For those who also rescue sick or old animals: Is this just a phase? Is there a “breaking point” where most rescuers have to stop for their mental well-being? Am I being too sensitive or self-centered? I’d really like to hear about others’ experiences.