How do you cope with having to put down your pet?

So, my cat was perfectly healthy before I went on a two-week trip. My mom took care of my cat while I was away. She had a serious eye infection. We took her to the vet right away and after months of treatment, her eyes showed no improvement. Two vets have confirmed that she has some tumor-like growth in her belly, most likely lymphoma cancer. The vet mentioned that there may or may not be a relation between this and her eye issue. Before this happened, I was dealing with immigration processes for my wife and had already spent all my savings on her application, leaving me with no money for chemotherapy. The vet also understood our financial situation and recommended putting her down.

It’s tough to process this turn of events. My cat was fine, and within a month, it seemed like the best option was to put her down. I’m struggling with this and need someone to talk to.

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Thinking your pet was perfectly healthy and going to the vet to keep up on that, only to be faced with having to put your cat down, that sucks.

If you have the time, spend a few days being unhappy, astonished, indignant, or upset.

I find it beneficial to ask my veterinarians, “Would you do this for your cat?” I’m not a vet, but chemo, in addition to being pricey and your vet stating that it’s not a sure thing, has some very serious side effects. “What would my cat’s quality of life look like if this did succeed?” Is another great question.

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@BellaWoofington You mentioned the same thing, my vet said her quality of life would only go down unless it’s not a cancer, but her abnormally high white blood cell also indicates it’s highly likely a cancer…

Just now I’m crying and she comes to me and checks out on me, I find it very difficult to accept she needs to go…

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@Stargazer_0101 I feel terrible for you and your cat.

Please allow yourself time to deal with the entire situation, if you have one.

If you can afford it, you might consider at-home vet euthanasia.

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I’m very sorry you’re going through this. A pet’s health might quickly deteriorate, which is a dreadful shock. I can’t advise you on what to do, but you have your vet’s opinion, which is worth considering because they see circumstances like yours far more frequently than the average person. You have done your part; you have been responsible in seeking therapy for your cat. It is not your fault. Meanwhile, it sounds like you’re already grieving. Be easy on yourself. Distract yourself by calling loved ones or spending time with others. Anxiety and doubt are frequent during the grieving process. Lean on everyone trustworthy around you, and take it day by day <3 wishing you the best

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@Calgary_Calico It felt like the world is crushing on me, and she still come out from her hiding and checks out on me to see if I’m ok while I’m crying, I just feel so sad…

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I am very sorry. I’ve gone through that. My kitty, who I left at home when I moved out, developed a brain tumor. I was fortunate, as my mother had to put Pangur Ban down.

Since then, I have kept the ashes of eight kittens on my piano. Every time, I had to make that terrible decision. It was the most difficult task I’ve ever undertaken.

However, it was the correct thing. I couldn’t bear their suffering any longer.

It is difficult, but you are alleviating their suffering.

Whatever you do, BE THERE FOR THEM, LOOK THEM IN THE EYE, PET THEM, AND TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM.

The most essential thing is that you are with them; they are not alone and afraid.

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@CharliePaws Thank you. But seeing her final breath out and her last glimpse vanish will make me cry. How do you tell yourself to do it or be strong in this situation? I felt like I was going to crack down just thinking about it…

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@Stargazer_0101 You do not have to remain strong. Cry your heart out; I know I did.

Consider it as taking away her anguish and keeping it for yourself because you love her. It’s a difficult, dreadful decision. The agony is excruciating. But you are doing it to save her from the misery she is experiencing.

It’ll ache for a while. But it will not stay forever. I lost my baby almost ten years ago, and just thinking about it makes my eyes cry up. However, my heart developed around the anguish. You will be okay. And she will be okay because you saved her, loved her, and gave her the finest life possible. What else can we ask for?

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@DaisyFurman You tell yourself it’s the last, most important gift you can give.

Yes, I fell apart every time, but what my cats were going through was far more important than who I was.

Veterinarians despise having to put animals to sleep when their owners are not present. They find the animal’s fear unbearable.

It’s your final duty. I bawl every time, but I keep my head on the table, close to them, and look them in the eyes the whole time. Pet them and tell them how much I adore them and what wonderful cats they were. It’s the least I can do to repay them for their unwavering love and support.

My cat, Garp, died abruptly. It was the Saturday before Easter, and we decided that I would stay at home with our three-year-old while he took Garp to be put down. He did allow Garp to play in the grass before taking him into the building, which was extremely thoughtful, but he then left and did not accompany Garp. I was devastated. That happened 28 years ago, and I still feel responsible.

But Garp’s ashes are on my piano, so I have to be content with that.

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I have tried so many times to give guidance, but there’s not much to say really. You explained your financial case, had more than one veterinarian examine her, and you understood that chemo is not a guarantee. You just have to love her, spoil her, consider her quality of life, and see what you can do for her. Monitor her, love her, and know that she loves you back. Cancer sucks; I’ve lost far too many friends, family members, and pets to it. You have my sympathies for what you’re going through. Too many of us have gone through it before you, and we will go through it after you. Internet hugs for any decision you make.

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@FinnWagstaff Thanks…The vet asked us to return on Monday and decide what to do; basically, if she still refuses to eat despite so many medications, there isn’t much they can do; basically, tonight her situation is even worse than before she went to the vet; now I can see she’s apparently in pain because she just lay down with her eyes open, not sleeping, seems to be constantly adjusting position to try to feel comfortable, and sometimes calls for me as if she wanted something but I don’t know what she wants.

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I have been with numerous of my friends when they were killed; it’s one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do. Keep in mind that the last thing they’ll remember is that you were with them, and they weren’t alone. We pay a premium for having children in our life because theirs is so much shorter than ours.

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@Ill_Opportunity_4642 Thank you. If you put it this way, I kind of understand; I’ll do my best to stay strong, but I still feel like someone stabbed my heart.

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Before doing anything, seek a second or third opinion! Some vets will do anything for money. My old girl was vomiting, and the vet ran over 600 dollars worth of tests and said if it didn’t go away, he would operate. It resulted in digestive issues with the older ones, and I increased her food and water bowls, which resolved the issue!

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@Lilkimmiixx We went to two different vets and one specialist, all of whom had similar opinions, and the problem was that we couldn’t get her to eat anything, and tonight her situation just suddenly went way down; if I pet her, she usually responded, but now she’s completely still, her tail isn’t moving at all, and she keeps randomly twitching, and she appears to be in a lot of pain, which she wasn’t before we went to the vet today, so that’s why the vet said it’s better to put her down now. I regret not agreeing with the vet, but it was difficult for me to believe that her situation had worsened because of her refusal to eat. We went to the vet to see what they could do to help her. Every time we visit a vet, her situation turns 50-80% worse; it may be a coincidence that we felt she was in a very bad situation, so we went to the vet, and certainly it was an awful situation, I don’t know.

My childhood dog went to the vet because his eye looked funny; two weeks later, he was euthanized because he had inoperable brain cancer. It wasn’t easy, but we made the most of our time together and concentrated on the positive aspects. Allow yourself to grieve; they are more than just pets.

@LunaPurrington This is almost identical to mine… a month ago it was about the eye, now it’s about cancer in her belly, I think the part that I struggle with most is that they are not definitively firm that it is 100% cancer, but they say they can only see there’s some kind of tumor or tissues in her belly, but ultrasound couldn’t see what it is, my vet said the only way to find out is to have a surgery and cut her open, and if it’s cancer, do they remove it, stitch her guts back, or do we put her down during the surgery, b